Second interview question answered!

Elder Michael Austin Davis - serving a mission in Las Vegas

Family photo taken at Ryan and Sarah's wedding (everyone present but Michael and Marc)

(Jeffrey and Jennifer, Laura Lee, Tanner, Sarah and Ryan, William and Lynda, and Addie Kay)

Okay - here is the answer to my second Interview question:

Question:

#2) You have four sons and one daughter, what has been the biggest difference raising them?

There are several major differences that come to mind concerning rearing our four sons verses our one daughter.

Difference #1 - MODESTY

In our faith, modesty is something we place great importance on.

We believe our bodies are like Temples and we need to treat them with respect, and dignity. We believe that the way we dress reflects our inner self. We believe we should dress reflective of the truth that we are daughters and sons of God.

This modesty issue was very hard rearing a daughter. I think I had maybe one issue with a son (once ) when I asked him to pull his shorts up (they were riding low) so I wouldn't have to see his underwear. For guys - there are no problems finding decent clothes which are vogue. For girls - especially in our area - it's been a major PAIN and challenge!

For Laura Lee, the modesty challenge began when she was about age twelve. She needed a long formal dress for a piano recital. I found a pattern and had a friend make a beautiful pale yellow dress out of fabric Laura Lee selected. She looked adorable in it. I remember hemming that dress. It was lovely. I didn't think the modesty issue would be that difficult.

Next came church girls camp. I bought jeans for her and cut them off (knee length) and sewed them all. Okay, not quite so hard, but very time consuming! (This was long BEFORE the longer shorts became stylish).

It got WORSE from there! Laura Lee turned sixteen and could now date. She was asked to go to proms (sometimes up to three times a year). I took her shopping for a dress (there are NO DECENT modest prom dresses anywhere in our area) and we found a dress she really liked. It had spaghetti straps however and I decided I could make one just like it, but with sleeves. I bought all the fabric necessary for my dress creation. I started sewing it as similar to the original as I could. It has major gathering across the bodice. I thought I did a great job altering and sewing it. When Laura Lee tried it on (in the beginning stage) she didn't like it at all. I was beside myself. I had not only purchased the fabric, but had spent hours cutting and sewing the fabric. We ended up going and buying the spaghetti strap dress and my friend made a "bolero" to go over it with a matching purse. She came home from the prom with it all torn up (from people stepping on it).

The next year I decided I wasn't going to mess with the sewing. I ordered an expensive modest dress through an online store. It was beautiful. When we received it, it didn't fit Laura Lee whatsoever. There wasn't time to mail it back and get another one in time for her prom. I thought it was way overpriced anyway. I don't remember what she did for a dress that year, but it was stressful.

My friend (THANKS WENDY) was such a blessing for me. For other prom dresses she spent time making cap sleeves for dresses, cutting out sheets and making a mock dress out of them, putting extra fabric where it needed to go on prom dresses, etc., She was a life saver. She also gave Laura Lee sewing lessons (MY IDEA) and now Laura Lee can sew (much better than me) and will be able to deal with this issue with her daughter (much better than me) in the future!

At one point, I told Laura Lee she was now in charge of finding her own formal dresses and other clothing. Laura Lee usually did not like what I liked as far as clothing or formal wear. After my negative experiences I was DONE with it all. From then on, Laura Lee went clothes shopping with her friends. She was able to find some suitable prom dresses and other nice attire. Her friends would all come to our home and show us what they found and ask "do you approve"? They were able to get creative and I know Laura Lee had so much more fun shopping with her friends than with me!

Other articles of clothing were difficult to find too and sometimes there was a struggle of opinions between my daughter and me. I once had a sister-in-law refer to me as "the clothing Nazi". I guess she thought I was more strict than most parents.

I was SO GLAD when Prom dates were OVER for Laura Lee! I must say Laura Lee always looked stunning in her prom dresses. It's a wonderful thing for a parent to see her own daughter looking especially beautiful and feminine. HOWEVER -- buying clothing and figuring out Prom wear was SO MUCH EASIER with my sons. Go get them measured for a tux, shoes, etc., pay the bill .. and they're done!

#2 ACTIVITIES

When my sons started growing up, I realized I had never really done typical "boy" activities. William was not as "hands on" with the boys so I usually ended up being the one to take them fishing, play a baseball, soccer, or basketball game with them, play cars and trucks with them, erect lego creations together, etc., I never felt totally comfortable with these activities because I was beginner myself.

When I had my daughter, I so enjoyed doing the "girl" things. I purchased Barbies,

an Easy bake oven, made dress ups, bought pretend make up, obtained play high heels, etc.,It was fun to re -live my childhood and enjoy the world of girlhood for the second time. This was a world I understood. The male world was something foreign to me! (It still is!)

Laura Lee was sandwiched right in between two older brothers and two younger brothers. It was nice for me to have a girl right in the middle (kindof like an oreo cookie). There was someone else who was FEMALE in our home who was more similar to me than different. Having a girl was a "treat". (Like William's mother says having a boy is an honor and having a girl is dessert!)

By the time Michael and Tanner grew older, I knew a little more about boy activities than before and that helped. They did basically the same activities that Ryan and Jeffrey did, except that they were on a diving team also. I had them in dance, but that did not last long. (After Tanner dressed up as Elvis on a Jail house rock dance- William was not so supportive of this activity!)

With the boys, I had to learn all about Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts. (I think it's complicated myself!) With my sons, I learned about pine wood derbies and what boys needed for major camp outs. I learned about the "testosterone" movies (as we call them) and the wrestling that boys do. I endured many football and basketball games on TV that my sons would hoot and holler about. I went to many sports games to support and cheer on my boys! It was enjoyable and fun!

With my daughter, we grew to have the same love for dance. We came from the same mold. She enjoyed cheerleading and I could relate to that. She liked to Tumble and I could relate to that. She and I were "outnumbered" and we could relate to that. We never really watched many "Chick flicks" in our home. We were out voted and William almost always picked out the movies anyway.

#3 DIFFERENCES IN BOYS AND GIRLS

It has been interesting to see innately the differences between boys and girls and watch them first hand in my children. Girls truly do nurture, even when they are just toddlers. Boys are more rough and rowdy. They are "hunters", "hero's", and "rescuer's".

Laura Lee needed the social life with friends surrounding her. (It probably had a lot to do with the fact that she had no sisters and she needed to connect with other girls.) She was more emotional, yet she tried to be strong. She tried to fit in this family of all brothers (her father calls her a "WWF wrestler in a prom dress)".

Girls ( in Junior and Senior high school) can be so catty. It was hard to watch that aspect of what Laura Lee had to deal with.

Boys are not the gossip type. They deal with the way things are and seem to move on. They brush things off much easier.

Boys and girls are just different. It's the way God made his children. One sex is not "better" than another. I was to able recognize the good in both my sons and my daughter and celebrate their unique and different characteristics.

In rearing our children, we realized we couldn't treat them all the same. Laura Lee alway had "her own room" which the boys didn't think was fair. Laura Lee was somewhat spoiled because SHE WAS the only girl in our family. However, I have never loved my sons less. I cherish each of my children with all of my heart! They are ALL MY FAVORITES!

It is one of my GREATEST PRIVILEGES in life to be the mother of Ryan, Jeffrey, Laura Lee, Michael and Tanner. I now love being the mother-in-law to Marc, Sarah, and soon to be Jennifer. And I love being a grandmother to Addie Kay!